A Seat at your Own Table! Redefining Holiday Traditions to Fit Your Life

Traditions are like the glue that holds the holidays together, they give us something to look forward to, something familiar to anchor us during a busy season. But let’s be real not all traditions fit every stage of life. Maybe you’ve outgrown some of the things you grew up with. Maybe life changes, like moving, loss, or relationships have shifted what the holidays mean to you. That’s not a bad thing, it’s an opportunity to redefine joy on your terms.

Creating your own traditions is an act of self-love. It’s about asking, “What do I really want this season to feel like?” You don’t have to hold onto anything that no longer serve you anymore. Instead, think about what truly brings you comfort, peace, and joy, and start there.

If you’re wondering where to begin, start simple. Traditions don’t have to be grand gestures to be meaningful, they just need to feel right for you.

• • Solo Celebrations Don’t underestimate the power of enjoying your own company. Maybe it’s a solo trip to a coffee shop with a holiday playlist, baking your favorite cookies, or wrapping gifts while watching a Christmas movie marathon. Treat yourself to moments that feel cozy and special.
  • Friendsgiving, but Make It Christmas Gather your closest friends for a holiday dinner or gift exchange. Share laughs, memories, and maybe a signature cocktail to keep things festive.
  • Morning Routines Start your day with an intention, whether it’s journaling, lighting a candle, or simply sitting quietly with your coffee. Small, grounding moments can become traditions that carry meaning year after year.
  • Seasonal Gratitude Practices Create a tradition of writing gratitude notes to people who’ve supported you throughout the year. It’s a beautiful way to reflect on the love in your life while spreading some cheer.

Just because you’re starting fresh doesn’t mean you can’t bring pieces of your past along for the ride. Maybe there’s a dish your mom always made that brings back fond memories, or an ornament from childhood that deserves a spot on the tree. Mixing old traditions with new ones lets you honor your history while celebrating who you are now.

For example

• • Cook That Dish, but Make It Yours Add your own twist to a family recipe, maybe extra seasoning, a vegan substitute, or a side dish that pairs with it.
  • Recreate a Memory If your family used to drive around looking at holiday lights, grab your favorite playlist and do it solo or with friends.
  • Rewrite the Rules If your family gatherings were always stressful, host a peaceful dinner with people who make you feel at ease.

Girlfriend, sometimes the holidays hit harder than we expect. Whether you’re missing loved ones, feeling the weight of financial stress, or just not in the spirit, it’s okay to honor those feelings. You don’t have to plaster on a smile for the season.

• • Lean Into Reflection Set aside time to journal about your emotions. Ask yourself, “What do I need this season?” and allow the answers to guide you.
  • Talk About It Share your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. Sometimes, just saying it out loud can ease the weight.
  • Create Space for Joy Even if you’re not feeling 100%, carve out small moments that make you happy, whether it’s lighting your favorite candle, sipping hot cocoa, or reading a feel-good book.

The holidays can come with expectations from family and friends, and it’s easy to feel pulled in too many directions. But let me tell you something, you have the right to say no. Whether it’s to a chaotic family gathering, an expensive gift exchange, or anything else that doesn’t align with your peace, your boundaries matter.

• • The Gentle No If you’re invited to something that feels draining, say, “I’d love to join, but I’m prioritizing rest this season. Let’s catch up soon!”
  • Skip the Guilt Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
  • Focus on What Feels Right Spend your time and energy on people and activities that truly make you feel good.

Here’s the thing, redefining traditions isn’t just about the holidays; it’s about setting the tone for how you care for yourself all year long. Think of this season as a reset, a time to reflect on the love, joy, and peace you want to carry into the new year.

• • Treat Yourself Whether it’s a luxurious bath, a new journal, or a cozy holiday sweater, find little ways to show yourself love.
  • Plan Your 2025 Vision Use this time to set intentions for the year ahead. Where do you want to grow? What habits or traditions do you want to bring with you?
  • Celebrate You Take time to reflect on everything you’ve accomplished this year, big or small. You deserve to celebrate yourself.

Girlfriend, the holidays don’t have to look like anyone else’s version of merry and bright. They can be whatever you need them to be. So, whether you’re rocking matching pajamas with your partner, hosting a Friendsmas dinner, or savoring quiet moments alone, remember: you deserve a season that feels good to you.

This is your time to create traditions, nurture your heart, and step into 2025 with intention and love. Here’s to pulling up your own chair and making the holidays uniquely yours.

How are you redefining your holiday season this year? Share your stories in the comments, I’d love to hear from you!