Let’s have a secret conversation. There’s something so powerful, so deeply sacred, about a Black woman who keeps it cute, keeps it quiet, and still manages to turn heads and shift rooms without saying a word.

You ever notice how people get real uncomfortable when they can’t read you? When they can’t figure out your next move, your new glow, or that calm you’re carrying that they just know came from a transformation they didn’t get to witness?

That’s Black girl mystery and baebbyy, it’s not just a vibe. It’s protection. It’s power. It’s a boundary. And it’s long overdue.

You’re Not Secretive. You’re Sacred.

Listen, there’s a difference between being secretive and being sacred. You’re not being sneaky when you choose silence, you’re being intentional. Everything doesn’t need to be tweeted, posted, or turned into a story for public consumption.

Think about how often we’re expected to explain ourselves. Explain why we didn’t respond. Explain why we left that job. Explain why we’re not in the same circles anymore. Explain why we’re not hustling ourselves to the bone anymore. Girl, why?

Black women, especially, are taught that being silent means we’re hiding something. Nah, we’re protecting.

Examples? Here’s one You start dating someone new. It’s good. It’s soft. And for once, you’re not posting it. People start assuming you’re single again. But no—you just decided to keep it yours. Pop out and show 'em (when you're ready) That’s a flex.

You apply for something huge, a grant, a program, a new apartment, a soft life shift and instead of announcing it, you simply wait. You protect it while it’s growing. That’s a flex.

“What Is She Up To?” Let Them Ask.

There’s a certain thrill in letting people wonder. We’re in an era where oversharing is the norm, and people feel entitled to your life updates like it's their favorite series. But quiet moves hit different. Silence makes people pay attention.

You don’t need to defend your privacy. You don’t need to post your progress to prove it’s happening. That stillness they’re side-eyeing? It’s called alignment.

Let them wonder

• • “She’s been quiet lately.”

  • “Is she working on something?”

  • “She’s glowing… but she hasn’t said a word.”

Yes, Let the glow be your announcement. Let the peace be your post.

Privacy Is Luxury

Let’s call it what it is, privacy is the new luxury, especially for Black women who’ve had their lives dissected and defined by others for far too long. Choosing to hold things close is a radical act. We’ve been taught to put it all out there to prove we’re doing well, to prove we’re worthy, to prove we’ve made it.

But you don’t have to prove a not a gawd damn thing! Say that with your CHEST!

You don’t need to post your struggle to validate your growth.
You don’t need to livestream your healing.
You don’t need to make an announcement every time you level up.

You are not content. You are a whole person. (though some go viral doing this)

Soft Life Tip- Move in Silence, Glow in Peace

The soft life isn’t just about aesthetics, it’s about intentional living. It’s about choosing peace over performance. And when you stop explaining every little thing, you leave room for grace, for fluidity, for unexpected joy.

That’s the real win.

Here’s how to lean into your Black girl mystery-

• • Practice digital boundaries. You don’t owe the timeline updates.
    

  • Only share with people who truly protect your peace, not pick it apart.

  • Keep goals sacred until they’re fully rooted.

  • Show up glowing, with no backstory required.

This Isn’t About Hiding, It’s About protecting

Some people might say, “You’ve changed.” And you have. You’ve evolved. You’ve learned the hard way that sharing too much, too soon can invite energy that blocks your blessings. You’ve learned that not everyone clapping is actually happy for you. And you’ve learned that peace, privacy, and protection are a trio no one talks about enough.

You are not cold for keeping things to yourself. You’re wise. You’re self-aware. You’re no longer in the business of explaining your boundaries, your glow-ups, or your peace.

Keep Them Guessing, Keep Yourself Grounded

Being the mysterious one doesn’t mean you’re distant. It means you’ve decided your joy is not up for public debate. Your decisions don’t need a panel. Your path is yours.

You can be fully present, deeply loving, wildly supportive, and still choose silence over spectacle.

So, here’s to the quiet girls who are cooking up magic, building dreams, healing, resting, growing, and evolving in the shadows. The ones who post less, speak less but shine more. The ones who don’t need to explain a thing.

Girlfriend, your silence is golden. Your mystery is magnetic. And your peace? That’s the real flex.

And just so you know, Black Girl Mystery doesn’t stop with our personal lives.

It goes deeper into how we protect our culture, our creativity, and our community too. There’s a power in keeping some things sacred, just for us.

So make sure you come back next Monday, because we’re taking this conversation even further. We’re talking about the beauty, strength, and necessity of keeping the mystery of our culture alive and protected.

Stay glowing, stay growing, and stay a little mysterious.

A Love Letter to My Girls

As I wrote this blog, I couldn’t help but smile and reflect on the beautiful moments I’ve shared with my four closest girlfriends. Moments where we moved in silence, working on ourselves, protecting our peace, and then popped out with new blessings, new beginnings, and new energy that lit up the whole room.

I also thought about the times when the silence felt different, when I didn’t understand at first. Times when the distance felt personal, but looking back, I realize it was never about being "funny" it was about them protecting their growth, their healing, their journey. And for that, I have nothing but love and gratitude.

But let’s not forget the magic of the moments we did share, those late-night phone calls, the “Girl, guess what!” texts that let us celebrate each other’s wins in real-time. Those shared moments of vulnerability and celebration are just as sacred.

Both are needed. Both are beautiful. Both are real.

I honor the silence and I honor the sharing.
I honor the space and I honor the closeness.
I honor the mystery and I honor the transparency. (tear drop)

Real friendship, the kind that’s rooted in time, love, respect, and understanding makes room for all of it.

To my girls, in no particular order Rere, Relly, Pariwinkle and TriceyPoo, thank you for trusting me with your silence and your celebrations. Here’s to being the friends that get it without needing the full explanation. Here’s to showing up for each other, whether the world knows it or not.

Always and forever.