Hey Frennn,

Today, let’s get into it. Have you ever had one of those moments where you sat back and thought, “Dang, who’s really in my corner?” The friendships we have as Black women? Whew, they run deep. Our friendships are safe spaces, our support systems, and sometimes, the extra push we need when life is doing the absolute most.

But for real, not every friend is a good friend. Some people will pour into you, uplift you, and show up for you without question. Others? Well… let’s just say they only show up when they need something. Today, we’re getting into the beauty of Black women friendships, what it means to truly be there for each other, and how to tell when it’s time to let a so-called friend go.

The Importance of True Sisterhood

Friendships are more than just bottomless mimosas at brunch and matching outfits on vacation (though, we love those moments too!). Real friendship is knowing that when life comes at you sideways, you have someone in your corner who’s ready to ride for you, no questions asked. It’s that deep, unspoken connection where you know you’re never truly alone, no matter what life throws your way.

You ever have one of those moments where you’re up late, overthinking, or going through something heavy, and you just need to hear a familiar voice? That’s when real friendship shines. A true friend is the one who picks up that 2 AM call, half-asleep but still ready to listen because she knows if you’re calling at that hour, it’s serious. She’s the one who reminds you of your worth when you’re doubting yourself, who prays over you when you’re too drained to pray for yourself, and who shows up at your doorstep with your favorite snacks just because she knows you need a little pick-me-up.

And let’s talk about space. A strong friendship doesn’t require constant check-ins or daily texts to stay solid. It’s built on mutual understanding. Life gets busy, jobs, relationships, family, and personal struggles can take up space and with a true friendship, there’s no guilt, no resentment. You can go weeks without speaking and pick up right where you left off, laughing like you were just together yesterday. That’s the kind of love and security that makes Black women friendships so powerful. It’s knowing that even in silence, the love is still loud.

A true friend is your mirror when you can’t see yourself clearly. She’ll hype you up when you need confidence, call you out when you’re tripping, and love you through every stage of growth. That’s the beauty of sisterhood, it’s not just about the fun times, it’s about the depth, the honesty, the realness. The kind of friendship that isn’t just for a season, but for a lifetime.

And girlfriend, if you have friends like this, cherish them. Love on them. Send them that “I appreciate you” text. Because real friendship? It’s sacred. It’s self-care and her-care (see what I did there). And it’s one of the most beautiful gifts we can give and receive.

Are we Showing Up? How?

We all want that solid, ride-or-die friendship, the kind where you just know your girl has your back no matter what. But here’s the real question: Are you being the kind of friend you want in return? It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own lives, work, relationships, family, self-care, but friendship isn’t a one-sided thing. Just like you crave love, support, and understanding, your girls need that too. “I see you, and I got you.”

Be Present
Being there for your friends isn’t just about physically showing up, it’s about emotional presence too. When she’s venting about her struggles, really listen. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk, don’t hit her with a quick “that’s crazy” and move on. Engage with her feelings, validate her emotions, and let her know she’s not alone. Sometimes, she doesn’t need advice, she just needs to feel heard.

Life gets busy. We all have our own struggles. But if your friend is going through something and she reaches out, Try to make space for her. You might not be able to drop everything in that moment, but a simple, “I hear you, I got you, and I’ll check back in soon” can go a long way.

Check-In Just Because
You don’t need a reason to check on your people. We all go through things that we don’t always talk about, so sometimes that “Hey girl, how are you really doing?” text is exactly what she needs.

Let’s normalize checking in without it being triggered by drama. Don’t wait until she posts something cryptic on social media to reach out. If she crosses your mind, shoot her a message. A quick, “Thinking about you, love you, let’s catch up soon” can brighten her entire day.

Celebrate Her Wins—Big and Small
We love a supportive friendship! When your girl wins, you win. Hype her up, gas her up, and let her feel that love. Whether she landed a promotion, launched a business, hit a fitness goal, or finally left that situationship behind, celebrate her.

Support doesn’t always have to cost money either. Share her new business with your network, like and comment on her posts, show up for her events. Be the friend that reminds her she’s that girl, even when she forgets.

Respect Boundaries
A real friend understands that sometimes life is overwhelming, and we all need space to breathe. If your girl isn’t as available as she used to be, don’t take it personally. Instead of assuming she’s acting funny, give her grace.

Some of the strongest friendships thrive even when there’s distance, because they’re built on trust. So if she’s taking time for herself, honor that. And when she comes back, welcome her with love.

How to Spot a Fake Friend

Not all friendships are built on love, respect, and mutual support. Some people aren’t in your life because they genuinely care about you, they’re around because it benefits them. And let’s be real, a fake friend can be just as draining as a toxic relationship. You ever had that one friend who always needed something but just happened to be "unavailable" when you needed her? Or the one who clapped for you in public but secretly competed with you behind the scenes? Yeah… those aren’t your people.

Friendship should be a safe space, not a source of stress. And if a friendship is making you feel anxious, used, or second-guessing yourself, it’s time to take a step back and reassess. Let’s break down some of the signs that a friendship ain’t what it seems.

They Only Call When They Need Something
A good friendship is a two-way street. But a fake friend? She only hits you up when she needs a favor, an ear to vent to, or a hype woman when it benefits her. If you notice that your conversations always revolve around her problems, her drama, or her needs, and she never asks how you’re doing? That’s a major red flag.

Think about it, when was the last time she reached out just to check on you? A real friend doesn’t wait until she needs something to show up. If you’re always pouring into her but never getting anything back, you’re not in a friendship. You’re in a one-sided relationship.

They’re Not Happy for You
A real friend celebrates your wins like they’re her wins. A fake friend? She might smile and say the right things, but you can feel when the energy is off. Maybe she’s quick to change the subject when you share good news. Maybe she gives a half-hearted “that’s nice” when she sees you thriving. Or maybe she always tries to downplay your accomplishments, making it seem like anyone could do what you did.

Pay attention to the friends who show up when you’re struggling but disappear when you’re winning. Real friends support you in every season, not just when you’re down.

They’re Always in Competition With You
Listen, a little friendly competition can be healthy, but a real friend isn’t out here secretly trying to one-up you. If you’re excited about a new job, she suddenly has bigger career news. If you get a new outfit, she has to mention she got hers first. If you start a new hobby, she suddenly becomes an expert in it overnight.

A supportive friend hypes you up. A fake friend sees your growth as a threat. She won’t just clap for you, she’ll try to outshine you. And girl, we don’t compete where we don’t compare. You deserve friendships that feel like community, not a constant game of “who’s better.”

They’re Shady When You’re Not Around
If someone is always in your face but you’re hearing things about what they said when you weren’t in the room? That’s not your friend. A fake friend will throw shade behind your back, switch up depending on who she’s around, and keep your name in conversations that you weren’t invited to. And trust me, if she’s gossiping with you about others, she’s gossiping about you too.

A real friend protects your name when you’re not there. She speaks highly of you in rooms you haven’t even walked into yet. If you’re constantly finding out that your “friend” is talking about you, it’s time to let that friendship go.

They Make You Feel Drained, Not Uplifted
A good friendship should feel light. It should add joy, laughter, and support to your life. But a fake friendship? It feels heavy. You feel anxious before seeing them. You leave the conversation feeling worse than before. You feel like you have to answer their calls, not that you want to. That’s not friendship, that’s emotional labor. This does not necessarily mean it's a bad friendship, the chemistry and energy isn't a match.

If a friendship is making you feel exhausted instead of energized, it’s time to step back and ask yourself why you’re holding onto it. Because real friendships? They don’t take from you, they pour into you.

Knowing When to Let Go

Sometimes, we hold onto friendships out of history, not because they’re still serving us. But longevity doesn’t equal loyalty. Just because someone was a good friend before doesn’t mean they still are. And just because you’ve known someone for years doesn’t mean they deserve access to you now.

If a friendship is no longer uplifting you, it’s okay to let it go. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It doesn’t have to be a big fallout. You can simply step back, focus on the friendships that do pour into you, and allow distance to do what it needs to do.

At the end of the day, you deserve friendships that feel safe, supportive, and genuine. If you’re constantly questioning someone’s loyalty, sis, the answer is already clear. Love yourself enough to surround yourself with real ones.

Mending a Struggling Friendship

Not all friendships are meant to last forever, but sometimes, there's still a bond, it just needs a little care. Maybe life got in the way, maybe feelings were hurt, or maybe you and your friend just drifted apart without meaning to. If the love is still there and the friendship is worth saving, then it’s worth the effort to mend it.

First, ask yourself. What happened? Was it a misunderstanding, a lack of communication, or something deeper? Sometimes, time and space create distance, but sometimes, there’s an unresolved issue that needs to be addressed. Be honest about your role in the situation, friendships aren’t one-sided, and growth comes from self-reflection.

Then, have the conversation. A real one. This isn’t about placing blame but about expressing how you feel and listening to her side as well. If you’ve been feeling hurt or distant, say that. If you’ve been busy and didn’t make time, own it. And if she’s the one who hurt you, give her the space to acknowledge it. True friendships can survive tough conversations, it’s about how you both choose to move forward.

Rebuild with intention. Once you’ve cleared the air, don’t just say, “We should catch up.” Actually do it. Send that “Let’s grab brunch” text. Make time to check in regularly. Friendships, like any other relationship, need effort to thrive. Be intentional about showing up, even in small ways. A random “thinking of you” text, sending her a song that reminds you of your friendship, or just letting her know you appreciate her—it all matters.

But also, recognize when to let go. Not every friendship can or should be mended. If the relationship has become toxic, one-sided, or no longer aligns with who you are, it’s okay to move forward with love but without reconnection. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconnection, and sometimes, the best self-care is knowing when to protect your peace.

Friendships will have ups and downs, but the real ones? They’re worth the work. If you’re thinking about a friend right now, someone you miss, someone who once held a special place in your life, maybe this is your sign to reach out. Love is too precious to leave words unsaid.

Bestie, Friend, or Just an Acquaintance? Knowing the Difference

Not all friendships are created equal, and that’s okay! Everyone in your life plays a different role, and understanding the difference between a best friend/sisterhood, a friend, and an acquaintance can help you set the right expectations and pour your energy into the right connections.

Best Friend/Sisterhood This is your person. The one who knows your soul, your secrets, and your favorite order at Starbucks. She’s there for the highs and the lows, celebrates your wins like they’re her own, and tells you the truth even when it’s hard to hear. Your sisterhood circle is your safe space, these are the women who uplift you, hold you accountable, and love you unconditionally. This kind of bond is rare and sacred, and when you have it, you hold onto it.

Friend Your friends are the ones you vibe with, enjoy spending time with, and can count on in most situations. You may not talk every day, but there’s mutual respect, trust, and care. They show up for you, and you show up for them. Friendships take effort, and a good friend will always be there when it matters.

Acquaintance Not everyone you share laughs with is a friend. Some people are just cool to hang with but don’t necessarily hold space for you in a deeper way. Acquaintances might be coworkers, social media buddies, or people you see at events, and that’s perfectly fine! Not every connection has to be deep, sometimes, it’s just about sharing a moment, and that’s valuable in its own way.

Recognizing these differences helps you protect your peace and avoid misplaced expectations. Not everyone is meant to be in your inner circle, and that’s okay. The key is to nurture the friendships that feel right and let everything else flow naturally.

The Magic of Black Women’s Friendships: The Power of Sisterhood

There’s nothing like the love and support of Black women. When we pour into each other, the whole world feels the glow. Our laughter fills rooms, our encouragement lifts spirits, and our presence alone can turn a bad day into something beautiful. We were never meant to do life alone, and having that tribe, those women who get you, who hold space for you, who celebrate and uplift you, is one of life’s greatest blessings.

Friendship isn’t just about having someone to text memes to (though, that’s a top-tier love language). It’s about having a circle that makes you feel safe, seen, and supported. It’s the late-night heart-to-hearts, the “girl, you got this” pep talks, and the knowing looks that say everything without a word. True friendship is a form of self-care. It reminds you that even on the days when you feel alone, you’re not.

The key is to stay open. The right people will always find their way to you when your heart is ready for them. Be intentional about the energy you bring into your friendships. Be the kind of friend you want to have, someone who listens, who supports, who shows up. And trust that the universe, God, and divine alignment will handle the rest.

Let’s Talk About It!

I want to hear from you. What’s your take on friendships as a Black woman? How do you navigate the ups and downs of sisterhood? Drop your thoughts in the comments, share your friendship wins, or let’s discuss those hard lessons. We’re in this together, and I can’t wait to hear your stories.

See you in the comments, girlfriend. Let’s keep building, healing, and uplifting each other. 💛