Catch His Eye (And Keep It!) with Confidence, Flirting That Works | Milk and Melt's Monday 11/18

It’s Milk and Melt’s Monday, and we’re stepping into this week with one mission—helping you shoot your shot with confidence.

2025 is right around the corner, and we’re not waiting for the universe to send us our boo's. We’re taking control, having fun, and creating our own moments! and we're going to flirt our way into it. We’re not talking about the over-the-top rom-com style (though those are fun); this is about real-life, authentic, I’m that girl energy. Flirting doesn’t have to feel scary or awkward, it’s all about being yourself, owning your magic, and letting your energy shine. So, let’s get into how you can flirt very demure very cutesy... very Come get me.

If the idea of making the first move feels intimidating, don’t worry, we’ve got this! Whether you’re sliding into DMs, striking up a conversation IRL, or simply throwing a knowing glance across the room, flirting is all about confidence, connection, and showing up as your fabulous self.

Grab your favorite mug (yes, we’re back to tea or wine, again, no judgment here! I'm sipping wine now) and let’s unpack how you can make the first move while staying authentic and secure in your fabulous self.

Did you know Flirting has selfcare benefits? flirting isn’t just about catching someone’s attention. It’s also a major boost to your own confidence and self-esteem. When you shoot your shot, you’re stepping outside your comfort zone, owning your magic, and reminding yourself just how amazing you are.

Think about it:

• You’re taking the initiative and putting yourself out there reminds you that you’re in control of your journey.
• Flirting is a celebration of your uniqueness, showcasing your personality, and style. Whether they’re into it or not, the act itself is about you choosing to show up.
• Every time you step up with confidence, you’re reinforcing the belief that you’re worthy of good things and that’s powerful.
• Every smile exchanged, compliment given, or playful interaction is a reminder to embrace the fun in life.

Flirting is more than just sending a cheeky message or offering a coy smile. It’s a declaration. It says, I know what I bring to the table, and I’m not afraid to show it off. When you initiate, you’re stepping into a position of confidence and control.

This isn’t about being aggressive or doing the most; it’s about being intentional. You’re owning your desires, breaking out of outdated societal norms, and showing the world (and your crush) that you’re in charge of your narrative. Forget the old-school rules that tell women to sit back and wait, you’ve got the power to set the tone and spark the connection.

Flirting also gives you a chance to amplify your voice, your energy, and your presence. It’s not just about attracting someone; it’s about showing yourself that you’re capable of creating opportunities and taking charge of your own happiness. And girl, there’s nothing sexier than that!

• Use body language to exude confidence: eye contact, a warm smile, and relaxed posture.
• Choose compliments that feel natural and personal, like, “That jacket is everything!”
• Approach flirting as fun, not a high-stakes situation. The goal is to connect, not perform.

Before we get into the nitty-gritty, let’s be clear, Flirting is FUN! It’s the art of showing interest without putting too much pressure on yourself or the situation. It’s playful, natural, and it allows both parties to dip their toes into the idea of a connection without making things feel serious too soon.

Flirting is not only about attracting someone, it’s a way to build chemistry, test the waters, and feel out someone’s initial character. It’s how we give a little, see how they respond, and decide if we want to give more.

But it’s also about boosting your self-esteem. When you flirt, you’re saying, “I know I’m worth your time” and that’s a major mood booster. And let’s face it, being the one to make the first move feels empowering!

• Flirting opens the door to more conversation and allows you to test if there can be chemistry.
• It’s a way to show interest without diving into the heavy stuff.
• Confidence is the secret sauce, if you believe in your own worth, others will too!

Before you even think about making the first move, you have to set yourself up for success. Confidence is key here, and it starts with you feeling comfortable in your own skin. If you're not already practicing self-love, that’s where you should begin, because confident flirting is all about showing up as your true, radiant self.

• When - You can flirt anytime you feel a connection, whether it's while you’re chatting online, at a party, during a quick interaction at the coffee shop, or pumping gas. No moment is too small to start building that spark.
• How - Start with eye contact, a soft smile, or a compliment that feels natural. Keep it light, playful, and fun. If it’s too much, it can come off as insincere, you’ve got this!
• Who - The beauty of flirting is that it’s for anyone you're interested in, so pick your target/s wisely. Flirt with someone who gives off positive energy, someone who seems open to connection, or someone you want to get to know better.

Flirting is fun, but it’s also about finding a connection that clicks. Not everyone will vibe with your energy, and that’s okay! Flirt with the people who seem receptive to it. How can you tell? Look for signs of interest like smiling, mirroring your body language, and engaging in playful banter.

• If They’re Giving You Attention: Pay attention to their responses. If they’re holding eye contact, smiling, and asking you questions in return, you’re on the right track.
• If They’re Shutting It Down: If they’re giving one-word answers or avoiding eye contact, that’s a clear signal that they’re not interested. It’s okay—move on and save your energy for someone who appreciates it!

Flirting should never feel like a one-sided performance. The goal is to exchange energy with someone who’s feeling your vibe, too.

Pro Tip: Start small and take it slow. Flirting doesn’t have to be an all-in situation. It’s about testing the waters to see if there’s interest before diving into deeper conversations.

Timing can make or break a flirtatious moment. Whether you're trying to spark a connection or just keeping things fun, knowing when to flirt is crucial. Here’s the play-by-play

Pre-Date (Before You Meet): This is where you get the chance to build anticipation. Flirt via text or social media, keep it light and playful to gauge interest. Just be sure not to come on too strong. You want to leave room for them to want more.

On the Date: Once you’re on a date, flirt to build chemistry. Compliment their outfit, tease them in a fun, light-hearted way (but keep it respectful), and focus on creating a relaxed vibe. Your goal is to make them feel comfortable and let them know you’re genuinely enjoying their company.

When It’s Getting Serious: If you’re really feeling them and things are moving in the right direction, flirt with a bit more depth. Lean in closer, whisper something playful, and compliment their personality or intelligence. These kinds of moves help build emotional intimacy.

Pro Tip: Don’t be afraid to show interest from the moment you meet, but take your time building that attraction. Let it develop naturally so you can both see if there’s a real connection.

Flirting can happen anywhere, but some environments make it way easier to strike up a conversation and let your charm shine. Here’s where you can turn on that flirtatious vibe without feeling out of place:

At Social Gatherings: This is flirting central, whether it's a house party, brunch with friends, or a networking event. These places are great because the vibe is already casual, and people are there to connect. Take advantage of the laid-back environment to be playful and meet new people.

• Pro Tip: Compliment their outfit or mention something fun about the event to spark a conversation.

Coffee Shops or Casual Hangouts: These are low-pressure spots where you can let your personality shine through. People are relaxed, and you’re both focused on something (like your drink or laptop), so it’s easy to engage in small talk.

• Pro Tip: Use a common interest like the book they’re reading or a coffee recommendation to kick things off.

On Dating Apps - (we talked about dating apps last week's Blog) Here’s where it all begins for a lot of people! The best way to flirt on dating apps is by being light-hearted, funny, and showing interest in something specific about their profile. Start with a comment about something unique in their bio or a shared hobby to break the ice.

• Pro Tip: Ask an engaging question that invites them to share something about themselves—this gets the convo going without seeming too forward.

Alright, now let’s get down to business. Flirting is your first step toward landing that date, and when done right, it’ll give you the connection you’ve been craving. The trick is to keep it genuine while keeping things light and fun, nobody likes pressure, especially on the first move. Here’s how you can flirt to get that date!

• Body Language is Your Friend - Non-verbal cues say it all! A small glance, a playful touch on the arm, or a slight lean in during conversation can work wonders. Body language is how you show interest without saying a word.
• The Power of the Pause: Don’t be afraid of silence. Let the conversation breathe. Pausing before responding or holding eye contact just a little longer can create a flirty tension without saying a word.
• The Compliment Game - Genuine compliments will always catch someone’s attention. Compliment something unique about them, whether it’s their smile, their laugh, or their passion for something they’re talking about. Stay real and avoid overly surface-level remarks like, “You’re cute!” like what is that?
• Keep the Conversation Going - If you’re both connecting, ask questions about their interests, hobbies, and what they’re passionate about. This builds rapport and lays the foundation for something more meaningful.
• Make the Move - This is where the magic happens! If you’re both laughing, making eye contact, and connecting, throw out an invite for a date. Keep it light: “You seem like someone who loves good food. How about we grab dinner sometime?” Simple and direct.
• Know When to Back Off - If the other person doesn’t seem into it, it’s okay to back off gracefully. Not every flirtation leads to a convo or date, and that’s alright.

Pro Tip - Keep your flirting natural and fun, but don’t forget the all-important ask. If you're feeling it, don’t be afraid to ask for a date. If they’re into you, they’ll be flattered and thrilled.

Don’t try to force it. Flirting is about balance, so be sure to give the other person room to reciprocate and see how they respond. It’s not a performance—it’s a two-way street.

So, you’ve got the date! Now it’s time to really turn up the charm. Flirting doesn’t stop once you get face-to-face; this is your chance to shine! This is where you can turn the dial up a bit, show your sense of humor, and make them feel like the luckiest person in the room.

• Laughter is an instant connection-builder. Don’t be afraid to throw in a little sarcasm or playful banter, just make sure it stays lighthearted and doesn’t cross any lines.
• A little teasing can go a long way in flirting. Keep it fun, like, “Oh, you’re the type to order the dessert first, huh? I have a sweet tooth myself.” Ok that was corny, but you get me.
• Listening is just as important as talking. Be fully present in the moment and show genuine interest in what they have to say. Flirting isn’t just about being charming, it’s about making the other person feel seen and heard.
• A light touch on the arm, a hand on their back, or brushing against their hand can get a physical spark flowing. Physical touch, when done appropriately, adds a layer of intimacy to your flirtation.

Pro Tip: Flirting during a date is about creating a deeper connection, but it should still feel fun and easy. Don't overthink it, let it flow naturally.

Sometimes, flirting can happen without you even realizing it! If you’re comfortable in your own skin, if you're relaxed and having fun, your flirtatious vibes will naturally shine through. Your confidence, humor, and warmth might just have someone else thinking you're flirting even when you're not intentionally trying to. Here’s how to recognize it

• That lingering gaze when someone catches your eye is a natural flirting signal. You might not even realize you're doing it, but those shared glances work wonders.
• When you're enjoying their company and laughing genuinely, it’s a form of flirting. It shows you’re interested in what they have to say, and people love to feel heard and appreciated.
• If you start mirroring their posture or movements unconsciously, it can be taken as a sign you’re interested. This is a subconscious form of flirting and connection-building.

Pro Tip: If you’re unintentionally flirting, don’t be afraid to embrace it! Lean into those moments of natural chemistry.

So, your flirting worked, and they’re responding. Now what? Whether it’s a positive response or a negative one, the key is to keep your cool and move forward confidently. Here’s how to handle all kinds of reactions.

If They Show Interest

• If they're engaging, playing along, or responding with their own flirty banter, it’s a green light to keep going. Let the chemistry build naturally and keep the conversation flowing.
• If they’re teasing you back or sending flirty comments, respond with equal energy. Keep things light, playful, and flirty, just as you’ve been doing.
• If the flirting is going well, don’t hesitate to ask them out. Something like, “I love this vibe, we should totally hang out over the weekend” works great.

If They Aren’t Responding the Way You Hoped

• Stay Calm - Not every flirtation will land, and that’s okay. If they seem disinterested or don’t reciprocate, take it as a sign to gracefully pull back.
• Don’t Take It Personally - Their lack of response is not a reflection of your worth. It could be about timing, mood, or other factors.
• Gracefully Exit - Keep it classy, thank them for the conversation, and if they’re not responding, move on without making it awkward.